I had my first IUI for this cycle on July 10th. As I was carrying the specimen into the ARS / RE's office, I felt as though I was smuggling something. That morning when DH saw me take the cup with his specimen and put it in my pants (to keep it next to my body), he laughed. I guess I'm a Sperm Smuggler! Anyway, I waited about 45 minutes in the waiting room for the sperm to be washed and cleaned. Kathy was my nurse for this IUI round. She said they got a good sample. She said something like 5 or 50 million sperm or something like that. I can't remember because of the pain that came soon after. It hurt! It hurt bad. I was already really sore and in pain with my ovaries and then to have this catheter being put up me was no fun. She said that part of the pain was the catheter hitting the wall because it had to curve to get to the uterus and the other part of the pain had to do with overstimulation and having a lot going on in my body. It hurt much worse than the IUI from my last cycle. It took everything in me not to jump off the table, but I just reminded myself why I was there and what the end goal would be (hopefully). I definitely had a dialogue with God while on the table during the IUI and afterwards while I lay still hoping and praying and begging God that this works this time. I came home and took a nap.
Monday the 12th, I went in for the second IUI this cycle. Once again I smuggled sperm into the ARS / RE's office. It took about 40 minutes for them to wash and clean the sperm this round. I had a different nurse. She said it was another good sample. I actually had no pain with this procedure and it seemed over and done with so quick. As I was laying on the table I did feel some pain, cramping and / or twitching. As I lay on the table afterwards, I had a talk with God. This talk was different. Of course I was praying that this was our cycle. That this was it, but something definitely felt different. Later in the day, I was more crampy / twitchy than I was with the other IUI this cycle and last cycle.
Tuesday the 13th I started taking Prometrium 100mg 3 times / day. By the end of the day, it typically knocks me out. Also something that is a little TMI, we also BD near my ovulation time too. Hoping that one of those little guys would make their way up there and find their way in one way or another.
Friday, I forgot to get my b/w for my progesterone level done. The lab was closed on Saturday. I couldn't believe I forgot. I remembered that I needed to go Thursday night and by Friday it completely slipped my mind. Since about Wednesday, I have been having a pain in my boob area. I have been having horrible back pain and been extremely fatigued. Thursday night DH made some popcorn and the smell of the oil made me sick, nauseous sick. Friday, I had pain in my lower abdomen. Friday evening, I had pain in my upper stomach and was nauseous by the smell of peanut butter. My stomach was kind of hard (but not from constipation). I have had diarrhea or gastro issues like gas (sorry TMI). I have been extremely forgetful too. As I said I forget to get my b/w done, I have been mixing up dates for things in my calendar, can't remember one thing from the next and even put my pants on backwards (thankfully they were my pj bottoms).
I called the ARS / RE's office about forgetting to get my b/w done and Kim (the nurse) told me that it is timed with the Ovidrel, so it would be too late to get it done. She said not to worry about it because I am already taking Prometrium.
Monday night I was very emotional, crying over everything. What first got me started was my stomach. It was so nauseous. Then I started crying because I couldn't figure out when DD's first day of school was. Then DH told me my pj bottoms were on backwards and I started crying all over again. Last night I couldn't sleep and was crying over DD going to school and anything else I could think of. I have also been a little bit snippy, blunt or to the point more quickly with people. I have also noticed more CM, frequent urination, extreme nauseous, insomnia, fatigue and hair loss. I don't know what these symptoms are all from. It could be from the Metformin, the Prometrium or because I have PCOS. Or it could and I am hoping it is because I am pregnant. I have been wanting to shout it out that I am pregnant. I don't know if it's because my body knows I am (already) or if it's because I am crazy and just being too optimistic / hopeful. I did feel like that when I was pregnant with DD, so here's hoping. I have also been counting my possible due date which would be early to mid April. DH counted it out too and we compared the due dates we came up with. DH and I have been talking about names and the possibility of twins and when we would tell family. The other day DD told me I was going to have a baby soon. She has always talked about wanting a brother or a sister, mainly a sister, but to tell me I was going to have a baby soon kind of freaked me out. She seems so sure. We do not tell her about what is going on with our struggle TTC. When she asks about having a sibling, we tell her to pray to Jesus about it.
Because of all the symptoms I'm having and because I am kind of driving myself crazy this cycle, I am going to test on Friday and then again the following Friday unless AF has reared her ugly head.
So once again, I am asking for prayers that this will be our cycle. This IUI business is not cheap even with insurance paying for some of it. So far I think we owe / have paid about $1000 for the 2 cycles we have done with the ARS / RE. I realize that for some couples that is nothing compared to their struggle with TTC, but to us that is pretty expensive. We live on 1 pretty minor income.
Showing posts with label Prometrium. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prometrium. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Out with the Old, In with the New
I tested on June 24th and got a BFN. I called the ARS / RE's office and talked with the nurse. She said they wanted me to go in for a pregnancy blood test to make sure. So I went in the next day. She called me later that day with the results. They were negative. My progesterone level was good and she said the next time around they are going to start Prometrium 4 days after I ovulate. She said to call when AF appears in full cycle to schedule appointments for the next cycle. AF visited for a short visit that night, then went away until Sunday. I called the office on Monday thinking they were going to have me come in that day, but they said that since AF wasn't a full flow until Sunday they would consider Sunday as CD1, so my appointment (u/s) was scheduled for Tuesday morning. Tuesday, June 29th, I went in for my CD3 u/s. I was a little taken aback by the u/s tech's first words to me. She came in and said "aren't you supposed to be pregnant by now?" I knew she was just joking and didn't mean anything harmful by it, but it made me a little uncomfortable and stung a bit. Then she looked at the chart and saw it was only my 2nd month (2nd cycle) with them. She said that I had some good things going last cycle - good lining, made a follicle big enough and I ovulated. She started the u/s. She said that I shed my lining, had no residual fluid and lots of eggs / follicles. I met with the nurse and she gave me a calendar with the details of the plan for this cycle. My plan for this cycle: Clomid for 5 days starting on June 29th. Follistim injection on July 5th. OPK on the 7th and 8th. U/s on the 9th. Ovidrel injection timed with ovulation. IUI (2 rounds) timed with ovulation. Start Prometrium 4 days after ovulation / Ovidrel injection. Progesterone b/w one week after Ovidrel injection. The plan this time is similar in that I had the CD3 u/s, took Clomid for 5 days starting on CD3 and have a Progesterone b/w 1 week after ovulation. It differs from last time because this time I will get Follistim injection instead of Gonal F and I receive it on CD9 where as I had the Gonal F injection on CD13. I will also start Prometrium 4 days after ovulation.
I started Clomid for 5 days that evening. Instead of Gonal F, I had to purchase Follistim. I received that injection on the 5th (CD9) in the back of my upper right arm. Man, that injection stung and burned going in and even afterwards for a bit. I was glad I went in to have the nurse give me the injection instead of trying to do it myself. I don't know if I could've done it myself. I took an OPK on Wednesday and Thursday with negative results for surge. This morning when I went in for my u/s, I was having terrible pain and pulling below my stomach. I told the u/s tech and she said something must be happening. I was actually fearful that I had ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (ohs). Well thankfully that's not what the pain was. My lining was 7.6, I had no residual fluid and 4 follicles that she measured in my Left ovary. They measured 25.5, 19, 16 and 10.5. In my right ovary, I had 2 follicles that she measured. They measured 15 and 10.5. I was very excited about this news. I can't believe all the follicles that are at a good size. The tech said they measure any follicle over 10, but that they didn't expect the 10.5 ones to do anything. She said the follicle that measures 16 (in my left ovary) and the one that measures 15 (in my right ovary) could still get bigger, so we couldn't discount them. The tech said that is the reason I am having so much pain. She said that I should just take it easy. After the u/s, I saw the nurse. She said that they had to go over my risk for multiples and make sure I wanted to proceed since I have 3 good size follicles in my left ovary. She also made it clear that just because I have 3 good size follicles, nothing could still happen. I told her I understood and wanted to go ahead with the plan. She gave me the Ovidrel injection. I must just be a wimp because that burned going in, too. I have an IUI scheduled for tomorrow and Monday. I start the Prometrium on Tuesday and go for a Progesterone b/w on Friday.
I started Clomid for 5 days that evening. Instead of Gonal F, I had to purchase Follistim. I received that injection on the 5th (CD9) in the back of my upper right arm. Man, that injection stung and burned going in and even afterwards for a bit. I was glad I went in to have the nurse give me the injection instead of trying to do it myself. I don't know if I could've done it myself. I took an OPK on Wednesday and Thursday with negative results for surge. This morning when I went in for my u/s, I was having terrible pain and pulling below my stomach. I told the u/s tech and she said something must be happening. I was actually fearful that I had ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (ohs). Well thankfully that's not what the pain was. My lining was 7.6, I had no residual fluid and 4 follicles that she measured in my Left ovary. They measured 25.5, 19, 16 and 10.5. In my right ovary, I had 2 follicles that she measured. They measured 15 and 10.5. I was very excited about this news. I can't believe all the follicles that are at a good size. The tech said they measure any follicle over 10, but that they didn't expect the 10.5 ones to do anything. She said the follicle that measures 16 (in my left ovary) and the one that measures 15 (in my right ovary) could still get bigger, so we couldn't discount them. The tech said that is the reason I am having so much pain. She said that I should just take it easy. After the u/s, I saw the nurse. She said that they had to go over my risk for multiples and make sure I wanted to proceed since I have 3 good size follicles in my left ovary. She also made it clear that just because I have 3 good size follicles, nothing could still happen. I told her I understood and wanted to go ahead with the plan. She gave me the Ovidrel injection. I must just be a wimp because that burned going in, too. I have an IUI scheduled for tomorrow and Monday. I start the Prometrium on Tuesday and go for a Progesterone b/w on Friday.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
IUI, Post-Ov Ultrasound and Progesterone Bloodwork
Sorry I haven't posted an update about the IUI. I guess I have just been trying not to think about it much and trying to focus on other things so I don't drive myself crazy. June 10th, I went in for the IUI with DH's specimen in a cup tucked inside my clothes so that I could keep it close to my body (that's what they suggested I do). The IUI was about 10 minutes long. The nurse brought in the tube with the sperm and said there were lots of sperm in the specimen I brought in. Yeah!! She showed me the tube. It was cloudy looking. She said that was good and means there are lots of sperm in there. She brought out a long thin needle thing, which is what she used to inject the sperm in me. The procedure was fine except for when she hit my uterus. We were talking and I stopped in mid-sentence. She asked if I felt discomfort. I said yes. She said that she must have hit my uterus and needed me to tell her if I felt any discomfort because she can't tell how far she has injected it / if she is hitting the uterus. After the procedure, I layed on the table for about 5 minutes before I left. I felt some pressure in my vaginal area, but other than that felt OK.
I was pretty tired. DD and I took a 3+ hour nap. It was great!
I went in the next day (June 11th) for a post ovulation u/s. The tech said my lining was now at an 11. Good! She could also tell that an egg was released because there was fluid. She said we had done everything we can up to that point. She said 2 weeks after I had the Ovidrel, I can take a test. She did warm me about taking it too early though, to avoid getting another BFN. I am to call when I receive a BFP or if AF visits.
DH and I drank a bottle of one of our favorite wines (because hopefully soon I won't be drinking any for about 9-10 months) and he toasted "to our growing family." That was such a sweet toast! I loved it and I love him.
June 15th I went in for b/w to check my progesterone level. The nurse called the next day with the results. She said my level was a little low. They like it to be at least 20 and mine was at 13 (which was no surprise since my ob/gyn diagnosed me with LPD). They want me to take 100mg of Prometrium 3 times per day. She said that I should call the office by the 25th, unless I receive a BFP before that (then I need to call right away). If I get a BFN and no visit from AF, they are going to do b/w. I plan on testing today actually (the 24th).
Since then it has just been a waiting game and I have been trying to focus on other things and not think too much about it.
I was pretty tired. DD and I took a 3+ hour nap. It was great!
I went in the next day (June 11th) for a post ovulation u/s. The tech said my lining was now at an 11. Good! She could also tell that an egg was released because there was fluid. She said we had done everything we can up to that point. She said 2 weeks after I had the Ovidrel, I can take a test. She did warm me about taking it too early though, to avoid getting another BFN. I am to call when I receive a BFP or if AF visits.
DH and I drank a bottle of one of our favorite wines (because hopefully soon I won't be drinking any for about 9-10 months) and he toasted "to our growing family." That was such a sweet toast! I loved it and I love him.
June 15th I went in for b/w to check my progesterone level. The nurse called the next day with the results. She said my level was a little low. They like it to be at least 20 and mine was at 13 (which was no surprise since my ob/gyn diagnosed me with LPD). They want me to take 100mg of Prometrium 3 times per day. She said that I should call the office by the 25th, unless I receive a BFP before that (then I need to call right away). If I get a BFN and no visit from AF, they are going to do b/w. I plan on testing today actually (the 24th).
Since then it has just been a waiting game and I have been trying to focus on other things and not think too much about it.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
First Visit to the ARS
Sunday I took another test. Why do I put myself through such trama? Of course I got a BFN! Later that evening, I was preparing for my appointment on Monday with the specialist and entering my BBT in my chart at Fertility Friend. I got another glimmer of hope. From my chart, it stated that I was only 11 DPO and it was still too early for me to test. I had several signs that indicated pregnancy. I gained some hope back, but then lost the hope on Monday morning. I didn't even have to get out of bed, I knew the feelings - the cramps, the headache, the wetness. AF roared her ugly head! So, CD36 turned into CD1, just like last cycle. At least that has become consistent. DH, DD and I attended the appointment with the Advanced Reproductive Specialist (ARS). I was a little worried about taking DD to the appointment because I didn't want to upset other women who might be at the appointment. I didn't want to seem like I was rubbing her in anyone's face. I was quickly reassured about her being there by the office staff. They were all talking about her - how smart, creative, talkative, etc she is. It really helped to put me at ease. We first met with a nurse (Janna) in one of the rooms. She took my BP which was good. She weighed me (which I had lost a few pounds - yeah). She went over my paperwork, making sure she understood our situation. She went over my medication and talked to DH about his health and medication. She told me that I should stop taking the Valerian Root and Melatonin because herbal supplements can contain hormones and this could affect my fertility. She gave me a hand-out to read while we were waiting for the ARS. We didn't wait long before we were told to go into his office. He first started out asking us what questions we may have. I talked to him about taking Calcium with Vitamin D supplements. He said that he would recommend me to not take those, since I take a prenatal vitamin. He said too much could cause problems with fertility, birth defects, and be toxic to my body. He said that he felt I was not ovulating or at least not ovulating regularly. He talked to us about what he recommended in our situation. He said that since we live close by, it would be best for me to come by on CD3 to have an u/s to check my uterus and tubes. At that appointment I would also be given a physical exam and have b/w drawn. At the end of that appointment he said I would get a calendar with written instructions on what was going to happen next. He said he did not want me to start taking Prometrium on CD14 like I have been because this could be hindering my ovulation. He said that if my body was about to ovulate, it could stop it and push it back further. He doesn't want me taking it until I have ovulated. He also said that we will use Clomid to help with ovulating and that he would not increase the dose. He likes to keep the dose as low as possible, but would add other drugs if need be to help me ovulate. He gave us hope that we would be pregnant in 3-4 cycles. Obviously, he can not promise that and did share the statistics (which aren't that great), but said that since we were able to conceive before and have a healthy child it's like "money in the bank". He said another thing they will check is my CM. This is done by a postcoital test. This test will also help them figure out if DH should go ahead with the sperm analysis. He was so nice to DD and was talking to the nurses / office staff about her. They all reassured us that DD was welcome at the appointments and he even said that DD would become great friends with the girls (meaning his nurses and office staff).
I am excited about this plan. I think that he is covering all the basis and is willing to change this as we go, according to how my body is responding. DH and I are very comfortable with the plan and agree with it. It is also scary, but I am trying not to let myself think about the what ifs or anything negative.
DH kind of mentioned to my mom that we are seeing a fertility specialist. We talked about it before he mentioned it to her. He asked why I haven't told her. I told him that I just didn't like talking about it. It's nothing against my mom. I tell her lots of things, but I just have such a hard time talking about this struggle. Hence the reason I need this blog. I know that I need to talk about this struggle. I can't keep it all in, but it is so hard for me to do that. I don't know if it is admitting it, or if I am afraid of the reaction, or showing too much emotion, or being too vulnerable. I'm not sure. Maybe it is a combination of all of that. I don't want people feeling sorry for me or pitying me. I would, however, love to have someone (or many) walk alongside me (us) as we struggle with this. I know in order for that to happen I need to open up about this, but it's hard. I pray about it and have opened up a bit. I sent a prayer request to our church prayer team and asked to be prayed for at the Global Day of Prayer.
I am excited about this plan. I think that he is covering all the basis and is willing to change this as we go, according to how my body is responding. DH and I are very comfortable with the plan and agree with it. It is also scary, but I am trying not to let myself think about the what ifs or anything negative.
DH kind of mentioned to my mom that we are seeing a fertility specialist. We talked about it before he mentioned it to her. He asked why I haven't told her. I told him that I just didn't like talking about it. It's nothing against my mom. I tell her lots of things, but I just have such a hard time talking about this struggle. Hence the reason I need this blog. I know that I need to talk about this struggle. I can't keep it all in, but it is so hard for me to do that. I don't know if it is admitting it, or if I am afraid of the reaction, or showing too much emotion, or being too vulnerable. I'm not sure. Maybe it is a combination of all of that. I don't want people feeling sorry for me or pitying me. I would, however, love to have someone (or many) walk alongside me (us) as we struggle with this. I know in order for that to happen I need to open up about this, but it's hard. I pray about it and have opened up a bit. I sent a prayer request to our church prayer team and asked to be prayed for at the Global Day of Prayer.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Not the One
Last cycle was not the cycle for us. I test on April 12th, 14th and 17th and received a BFN every time. AF came and CD36 became CD1. It is getting harder and harder for me to be around my group of friends. Almost all of them have 2 children and actually 1 just told me that she is pregnant with her 3rd. While I am so happy for her, I just can't help but be upset that it's not me. I feel unwelcomed or like a don't fit in with them. Maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be friends with them. At first I tried to put it off on them, but have actually come to the awareness / realization that it is me. I have not shared this struggle / battle with any of them. They are aware that I have PCOS and LPD, but not that we are and have been TTC since the end of August / beginning of September 2009. When asked if we will have more kids (which is not very often by them), I always tell them we aren't sure or not yet. I just hate to feel vulnerable and be pitied or felt sorry for. I just don't feel I can open that part up to them. I have shared other struggles with them and didn't get the support I needed / wanted / hoped for from them, so I can't share this with them.
I started my 2nd round of Clomid on April 23rd (which was CD5) and took it until the 27th (CD9). I started Prometrium on May 2nd (CD14). I have also been charting my temperatures since April 24th. This has just added to the confusion. My temp started around 97.05 then dropped to 96.5, then rose back up to the highest being 97.6. I have not had any other signs of ovulation - mucus or cramps, so I am thinking I have not ovulated this cycle or at least not yet. I am not really sure how to read the chart (for my temps), even though I have read up on it. I am currently on CD20 and have given up hope for this cycle.
We attended a friends' baby shower. It was actually for their 2nd child. While I am so happy for them, I can't help be a little pissed. This friend didn't even know if they wanted kids and now she gets blessed with 2! I know it is harsh for me to say that or even feel that way. She is a really good friend. Probably close to the best or most supportive friend I have, but it is still hard to swallow. I haven't even been able to bring myself to share this struggle of TTC with her, either. It's almost like a Jekyl / Hyde thing. I am so happy for them, yet so jealous, angry, pissed, etc that it is not me.
My friends have scheduled a few playdates / get togethers that I have just skipped because I just can't be around them. It is so difficult. They don't understand what I am going through. I know I haven't told them. I haven't shared it with them and they are not mind readers, but still I just feel like I don't belong with them and can't be around them. I have started withdrawing from a lot of public situations because it is so upsetting to see someone pregnant or with multiple children. I have tried to be OK with it and put my trust in God, but somedays it seems that it is thrown in my face. I have thought of talking to someone at our church about our secondary infertility and seeking counseling for it. But I just don't know how to start the conversation. The other night I just lied in bed next to DH crying. He doesn't know what to say and doesn't understand fully. He wants another child, but says if we can't have one of our own we will adopt. I know that I would love any child that we adopted and have always wanted to adopt, but didn't think I would be "forced to it". I guess I struggle with, why me? What did I do to deserve to not be able to have any more biological children? Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have DD. She is such a joy. She is what makes me go on. She is the light of my life. I enjoy her so much.
This struggle is obviously very personal and I have looked to the Bible for answers and have been praying to God for answers. If His answer is no, I pray that He gives me the courage and strength to cope with that. I do know that deep down His plan is what is best for me. I do trust in that.
So I will humor myself and test in 9 days like my ob/gyn told me too. The good news / light at the end of the tunnel for now is that I called the specialist and they were able to schedule us for May 24th. I was happy and confident with this date because at that point we should know for sure whether this 2nd round of Clomid has worked. I was hoping it wouldn't come to seeking the help of a specialist (not that I feel above it, just wanted it to come the easy way). Of course, I was also hoping that it wouldn't come down to us having to start Clomid and we have for 2 rounds now. I guess I just need to learn to deal with it better.
I started my 2nd round of Clomid on April 23rd (which was CD5) and took it until the 27th (CD9). I started Prometrium on May 2nd (CD14). I have also been charting my temperatures since April 24th. This has just added to the confusion. My temp started around 97.05 then dropped to 96.5, then rose back up to the highest being 97.6. I have not had any other signs of ovulation - mucus or cramps, so I am thinking I have not ovulated this cycle or at least not yet. I am not really sure how to read the chart (for my temps), even though I have read up on it. I am currently on CD20 and have given up hope for this cycle.
We attended a friends' baby shower. It was actually for their 2nd child. While I am so happy for them, I can't help be a little pissed. This friend didn't even know if they wanted kids and now she gets blessed with 2! I know it is harsh for me to say that or even feel that way. She is a really good friend. Probably close to the best or most supportive friend I have, but it is still hard to swallow. I haven't even been able to bring myself to share this struggle of TTC with her, either. It's almost like a Jekyl / Hyde thing. I am so happy for them, yet so jealous, angry, pissed, etc that it is not me.
My friends have scheduled a few playdates / get togethers that I have just skipped because I just can't be around them. It is so difficult. They don't understand what I am going through. I know I haven't told them. I haven't shared it with them and they are not mind readers, but still I just feel like I don't belong with them and can't be around them. I have started withdrawing from a lot of public situations because it is so upsetting to see someone pregnant or with multiple children. I have tried to be OK with it and put my trust in God, but somedays it seems that it is thrown in my face. I have thought of talking to someone at our church about our secondary infertility and seeking counseling for it. But I just don't know how to start the conversation. The other night I just lied in bed next to DH crying. He doesn't know what to say and doesn't understand fully. He wants another child, but says if we can't have one of our own we will adopt. I know that I would love any child that we adopted and have always wanted to adopt, but didn't think I would be "forced to it". I guess I struggle with, why me? What did I do to deserve to not be able to have any more biological children? Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have DD. She is such a joy. She is what makes me go on. She is the light of my life. I enjoy her so much.
This struggle is obviously very personal and I have looked to the Bible for answers and have been praying to God for answers. If His answer is no, I pray that He gives me the courage and strength to cope with that. I do know that deep down His plan is what is best for me. I do trust in that.
So I will humor myself and test in 9 days like my ob/gyn told me too. The good news / light at the end of the tunnel for now is that I called the specialist and they were able to schedule us for May 24th. I was happy and confident with this date because at that point we should know for sure whether this 2nd round of Clomid has worked. I was hoping it wouldn't come to seeking the help of a specialist (not that I feel above it, just wanted it to come the easy way). Of course, I was also hoping that it wouldn't come down to us having to start Clomid and we have for 2 rounds now. I guess I just need to learn to deal with it better.
Monday, March 22, 2010
First Cycle of Clomid
On CD29, I took a pregnancy test and received a BFN. I took another Prometrium that night before bed, since this was the game plan discussed with my ob/gyn. The next day CD30 turned into CD1. I was excited that AF came so soon, but sad because I was really hoping that I had just tested too early. DH was sad too when I told him the test results. I think we both were hoping I had just tested too soon. We were hoping to get pregnant before having to start the Clomid.
Friday was CD5 and my first day taking Clomid. I was scared because I didn't know how it would effect me. The ob/gyn warned that it brings hot flashes, mood swings and feels like you are going through menopause. I try to take it later in the day. I think the effects have been minimal. I do think it does make my moods go from 0-10 in a matter of seconds. One minute I am fine and the next I am angry. Having PCOS, I have had mood swings, but those had gotten better since February. I have only experienced a few hot flashes since taking the Clomid. I also had these hot flashes before taking Clomid. So of course, I am worried that maybe the Clomid isn't working or won't work. Before starting the Clomid, I was telling myself that I just need to embrace whatever side effects (mood swings, hot flashes) that it brings because that is how I know it will be working. But since it is nothing like I thought it would be, I am worried that it's not working on me. I guess we will see. It is a waiting game, isn't it?
Friday was CD5 and my first day taking Clomid. I was scared because I didn't know how it would effect me. The ob/gyn warned that it brings hot flashes, mood swings and feels like you are going through menopause. I try to take it later in the day. I think the effects have been minimal. I do think it does make my moods go from 0-10 in a matter of seconds. One minute I am fine and the next I am angry. Having PCOS, I have had mood swings, but those had gotten better since February. I have only experienced a few hot flashes since taking the Clomid. I also had these hot flashes before taking Clomid. So of course, I am worried that maybe the Clomid isn't working or won't work. Before starting the Clomid, I was telling myself that I just need to embrace whatever side effects (mood swings, hot flashes) that it brings because that is how I know it will be working. But since it is nothing like I thought it would be, I am worried that it's not working on me. I guess we will see. It is a waiting game, isn't it?
Friday, March 5, 2010
U/S
I started Prometrium on Saturday the 27th (since it was CD14). I am hoping this cycle will be it. Another thing I forgot to mention about my appointment with the ob/gyn was we discussed whether I was ovulating. I was thinking that I probably wasn't. She said the pains I am having could be ovulation. I also told her that I have had the cervical mucus (even cycles when I haven't had AF for over 40 days), she said I could very well have ovulated then too. Apparently you don't have to have AF to ovulate.
Thursday I had the u/s. I told the tech that I was still having the pains on my right side, but also my left side has been hurting (even more than the right) and the center of my abdomen has been sensitive / soar. She did 2 types of u/s. She showed me my ovaries, cysts, follicles, etc. She said that it's not common for women with PCOS to have pains (but I am not sure how much she really knows about PCOS because from what I have read, it is very possible).
The ob/gyn's office called with the results later that day. The u/s confirmed / was consistent with PCOS. There is no blockage or scar tissue. My ovaries are functioning, but with PCOS. Normal treatment for PCOS is to suppress the ovaries, but since we are TTC, we don't want to do that. She said the pain is just from the PCOS. She said the u/s showed tons of cysts (almost like an overactivity), but that is PCOS. The pain is from the PCOS and there isn't much they / I can do about it. She said to take Tylenol, keep hydrated and to make sure I am not constipated. She said that Metformin is a good drug to make the ovaries function. She wants me to keep them posted. I asked if she could tell from the u/s if I ovulated this month this I was on CD19 and she said that she couldn't tell. U/s isn't a good tool for that.
So, at least I have no blockages or scar tissue, but I have major pain a lot. Thankfully the pain doesn't last a long time, but it does happen frequently.
Thursday I had the u/s. I told the tech that I was still having the pains on my right side, but also my left side has been hurting (even more than the right) and the center of my abdomen has been sensitive / soar. She did 2 types of u/s. She showed me my ovaries, cysts, follicles, etc. She said that it's not common for women with PCOS to have pains (but I am not sure how much she really knows about PCOS because from what I have read, it is very possible).
The ob/gyn's office called with the results later that day. The u/s confirmed / was consistent with PCOS. There is no blockage or scar tissue. My ovaries are functioning, but with PCOS. Normal treatment for PCOS is to suppress the ovaries, but since we are TTC, we don't want to do that. She said the pain is just from the PCOS. She said the u/s showed tons of cysts (almost like an overactivity), but that is PCOS. The pain is from the PCOS and there isn't much they / I can do about it. She said to take Tylenol, keep hydrated and to make sure I am not constipated. She said that Metformin is a good drug to make the ovaries function. She wants me to keep them posted. I asked if she could tell from the u/s if I ovulated this month this I was on CD19 and she said that she couldn't tell. U/s isn't a good tool for that.
So, at least I have no blockages or scar tissue, but I have major pain a lot. Thankfully the pain doesn't last a long time, but it does happen frequently.
New Game Plan
Last week I attended an appointment with my ob/gyn. The nurse talked to me about the fact that I have several factors against me in regards to conceiving again - PCOS, hypothyroid, LPD, but that the most promising factor was that my body did it once. I have a beautiful 3 year old little girl. The ob/gyn reviewed how things have been going with me. I told her about my pains, especially on my right side. She ordered an u/s to rule out blockage and scar tissue. We talked about TTC and what our next move should be. Thankfully she understood that we mean business and want to get things rolling with having a baby. We don't want to play games or twiddle our thumbs. She laid out all the options - try Clomid (she only does 3 rounds then sends you to a fertility specialist), seek a fertility specialist, keep trying with Metformin and Prometrium. I asked her opinion because I truly respect it. She said she thinks we should go ahead and start Clomid, get an appointment with a fertility specialist schedule for the next few months, and of course get the u/s. She said the Clomid will be hard on me. It will make me feel like I am going through menopause. I told her that I already feel that way, as I have major mood swings and was having hot flashes. I actually asked her if she was just teasing me and I was truly going through menopause. She reassured me that I wasn't. She said Clomid will bring on all these symptoms, plus there is an increase in multiples. She said that she personally has never had anyone have multiples from it, but it is a risk. We are worried about that risk because twins run on both sides of our family. DH also asked if something could be wrong with his swimmers and so he is going to be tested. I thought that was such a great thing for him to ask and kind of took the "heat" off of me. I just thought that was very supportive. The nurse was great at reassuring us and DH about the sperm analysis. She told us her DH had to do that, too. I really appreciate my ob/gyn and the nurse sharing their experiences with us because it helps me to know I am not alone / we are not alone in the struggle. If I hadn't said this before, my ob/gyn also has PCOS. So our game plan is to take Clomid CD6-9, then Prometrium CD14-28, on CD 29 I will take a pregnancy test if AF hasn't visited, if BFN then I will continue the Prometrium until AF visits (or I get a BFP). We will do that for a few cycles, then if no BFP, we will meet with the specialist. Oh yeah, and DH will get his swimmers checked and I will get an u/s.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Difficult Day
CD66 turned into CD1. I didn't think I would ever be that happy for AF. I was so worried I was going through menopause or something. I had been feeling decent since AF and was really busy taking DD to all sorts of classes and playdates and things. I think I had 1 down day - where we just stayed home and relaxed. Then something weird happened. CD9 turned into CD1! I am not sure what was up with that. That was just strange. Here I go 66 days without AF and now only 9. My body is definitely not working right. This totally changes when I start Prometrium again. I was originally supposed to start it today, but now have to wait until the 27th. I was worried about taking Prometrium so close together. I just stopped the 400mg of Prometrium on the 12th. So that I am happy about. Maybe my body does know what it's doing after all!
Tuesday was a trying day for me. I met a friend and her DS for a playdate. My cousin was also at this place. She just had her second DD. She had a DS about 5-7 years ago, but he died when he was only a few months old. They went through lots of struggles with losing their child and were unsure if they would ever be able to get pregnant again. They have a 4 year old DD and an almost 2 month old DD now.
However, she was there with her playgroup. This group ended up being a bunch of women who have 2 children are do not want anymore. So much so that their DHs have been snipped or they were going to have their tubes tied. It was very difficult to listen to their bitching about having 2 children and not wanting anymore. It obviously made me sad and uncomfortable. I have always told DH that neither one of us will ever have those procedures done because I never want the option to have children taken off the table for us. Of course that was before being diagnosed with PCOS. Now sometimes I feel like I might as well have had my tubes tied, since we have not had any luck with TTC. But I didn't make that choice to not be able to have anymore children, like these women. I am not mad at them. They don't know my story and I wasn't willing to share it with them. It just kind of felt like a slap in the face. These woman have want I want - fertility. It was just a difficult day - a constant reminder!
Tuesday was a trying day for me. I met a friend and her DS for a playdate. My cousin was also at this place. She just had her second DD. She had a DS about 5-7 years ago, but he died when he was only a few months old. They went through lots of struggles with losing their child and were unsure if they would ever be able to get pregnant again. They have a 4 year old DD and an almost 2 month old DD now.
However, she was there with her playgroup. This group ended up being a bunch of women who have 2 children are do not want anymore. So much so that their DHs have been snipped or they were going to have their tubes tied. It was very difficult to listen to their bitching about having 2 children and not wanting anymore. It obviously made me sad and uncomfortable. I have always told DH that neither one of us will ever have those procedures done because I never want the option to have children taken off the table for us. Of course that was before being diagnosed with PCOS. Now sometimes I feel like I might as well have had my tubes tied, since we have not had any luck with TTC. But I didn't make that choice to not be able to have anymore children, like these women. I am not mad at them. They don't know my story and I wasn't willing to share it with them. It just kind of felt like a slap in the face. These woman have want I want - fertility. It was just a difficult day - a constant reminder!
CD61-65
On February 1 (CD61), the nurse from the ob/gyn's office called. She said the doctor wanted me to go for b/w. I had the b/w done that day. They called with the results the next day. She said my FSH, Estradiol and something else were normal but my TSH was abnormal, dangerously low. I think it was .265. She said I need to go for another b/w (free t4). I went that day. The next day the nurse called with the results. She said that test was normal and they would send the results to my endocronologist. They said my G4 is good and T4 is normal. I told the nurse that I was at CD63. She talked with the ob/gyn. She prescribed 400mg of Prometrium at night for 10 days.
The Prometrium really kicks my butt. As soon as I take it, I am out. It just makes me exhausted.
Friday the 5th, my endocronologist's office called about the b/w they were sent. He wants me to stop taking Synthroid on Sundays. So now I am really confused. Why would I stop taking my med if one of my thyroid tests were really low?
BTW, I stopped taking the Vitex on the 2nd and had already stopped the cough decongestant and progesterone cream on the 31st. I will talk to my ob/gyn about taking them first.
The Prometrium really kicks my butt. As soon as I take it, I am out. It just makes me exhausted.
Friday the 5th, my endocronologist's office called about the b/w they were sent. He wants me to stop taking Synthroid on Sundays. So now I am really confused. Why would I stop taking my med if one of my thyroid tests were really low?
BTW, I stopped taking the Vitex on the 2nd and had already stopped the cough decongestant and progesterone cream on the 31st. I will talk to my ob/gyn about taking them first.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I Get So Emotional Baby
My cycle in December started on CD21, which is really strange for me. I am normally lucky if I start on CD30-something.
So now, here I am on CD46 and nothing. Friday I went to the $1 Store to buy a few pregnancy tests. I took one that afternoon (I know morning urine is best) and got a negative result. My body must really be messed up. All day yesterday, I was nauseous. I have been extremely emotional. I noticed that on Thursday when DH and I attended something for DD. Just the thought of sending her to school and listening about how her day would be, made me tearful. I don't feel tearful / emotional like depression, but like extremely emotional. Everything DD says makes me want to cry. I have also lost my appetite. Nothing sounds good to me. These are all similar symptoms I had when I was pregnant with DD. So I don't know what is going on. Maybe I tested too soon. Maybe I am just not pregnant.
I am thinking that it is time to call the ob/gyn again. My body is not working still (apparently). I have been on Metformin for about 6 months and Prometrium for about 5 months. I must not be ovulating still. I think if I was I would be pregnant by now. I am thinking that I will call her to see what our options are for fertility drugs. I believe she will start me on Clomid, but not sure how that works.
I was really hoping that I would be pregnant and far enough along by DD's birthday party. I think it would be so neat if the first gift (or last gift) she opens is what spreads the word to everyone attending the party. I thought I would wrap up a "Big Sister" t-shirt and a big sister book or 2. Wouldn't that be awesome? I think it would. In fact I have been thinking about it so much that I am going to be totally disappointed if we don't get to do that this year. I keep thinking, when would be the next great time we could do something like that.
I have also been trying to figure out how or when I would tell DH. Would I tell him right away? Probably because I would be so excited and relieved. If it happened soon, I could tell him on his birthday. Wouldn't that be a great birthday gift?!
I am getting really depressed and resentful that I am not pregnant yet. It is very hard to understand why I can not get pregnant or why this is happening to me. We had no problems getting pregnant with DD. It just doesn't make sense. But I am sure a lot of women feel that way.
Here's to hoping if I am not pregnant, that I start my period soon, so we can TTC again soon.
So now, here I am on CD46 and nothing. Friday I went to the $1 Store to buy a few pregnancy tests. I took one that afternoon (I know morning urine is best) and got a negative result. My body must really be messed up. All day yesterday, I was nauseous. I have been extremely emotional. I noticed that on Thursday when DH and I attended something for DD. Just the thought of sending her to school and listening about how her day would be, made me tearful. I don't feel tearful / emotional like depression, but like extremely emotional. Everything DD says makes me want to cry. I have also lost my appetite. Nothing sounds good to me. These are all similar symptoms I had when I was pregnant with DD. So I don't know what is going on. Maybe I tested too soon. Maybe I am just not pregnant.
I am thinking that it is time to call the ob/gyn again. My body is not working still (apparently). I have been on Metformin for about 6 months and Prometrium for about 5 months. I must not be ovulating still. I think if I was I would be pregnant by now. I am thinking that I will call her to see what our options are for fertility drugs. I believe she will start me on Clomid, but not sure how that works.
I was really hoping that I would be pregnant and far enough along by DD's birthday party. I think it would be so neat if the first gift (or last gift) she opens is what spreads the word to everyone attending the party. I thought I would wrap up a "Big Sister" t-shirt and a big sister book or 2. Wouldn't that be awesome? I think it would. In fact I have been thinking about it so much that I am going to be totally disappointed if we don't get to do that this year. I keep thinking, when would be the next great time we could do something like that.
I have also been trying to figure out how or when I would tell DH. Would I tell him right away? Probably because I would be so excited and relieved. If it happened soon, I could tell him on his birthday. Wouldn't that be a great birthday gift?!
I am getting really depressed and resentful that I am not pregnant yet. It is very hard to understand why I can not get pregnant or why this is happening to me. We had no problems getting pregnant with DD. It just doesn't make sense. But I am sure a lot of women feel that way.
Here's to hoping if I am not pregnant, that I start my period soon, so we can TTC again soon.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Scare and Follow Up
At the end of September, I had a scare. I started bleeding. It kind of freaked me out because the first thing I thought of was - miscarriage. I stopped bleeding the next night. I have never had that short of a period. The next day I called the ob/gyn's office. The nurse said that it was just because my lining was so thick and it's just thinning out.
I was hoping (and thinking good thoughts) that we would be pregnant in October. I felt that at that point we were both ready. This was only the first cycle we had been TTC. I said several prayers to God that month. DD had been asking for a baby sister or brother. She said she wants one. I think she would be a good big sister. She deserves to be a big sister. I think she is ready, too.
I saw the ob/gyn on October 27th. They did a pregnancy test on me and it was negative. She started me on Prometrium until I had a period. We thought I hadn't had a period for about 50 something days, but in actuality it was 30 days. She said any bleeding is a period, no matter how long it lasts. When I called the nurse in October, she told me it wasn't a period, so I didn't count the days correctly.
By November 10th, I still hadn't started my period so I called the ob/gyn's office.I had been taking Prometrium for 14 days. The nurse said I should start within 2 weeks. It was Day 45, I started on Day 48.
I started charting my temperature (with a regular digital thermometer) on November 19th. I tested ovulation using an ovulation kit (that is old) on the 22nd, but it said I wasn't ovulating. I haven't checked my temperature since the 25th because the thermometer I was using is off by 2 degrees. Plus I've read it is best to use a BBT.
I was hoping (and thinking good thoughts) that we would be pregnant in October. I felt that at that point we were both ready. This was only the first cycle we had been TTC. I said several prayers to God that month. DD had been asking for a baby sister or brother. She said she wants one. I think she would be a good big sister. She deserves to be a big sister. I think she is ready, too.
I saw the ob/gyn on October 27th. They did a pregnancy test on me and it was negative. She started me on Prometrium until I had a period. We thought I hadn't had a period for about 50 something days, but in actuality it was 30 days. She said any bleeding is a period, no matter how long it lasts. When I called the nurse in October, she told me it wasn't a period, so I didn't count the days correctly.
By November 10th, I still hadn't started my period so I called the ob/gyn's office.I had been taking Prometrium for 14 days. The nurse said I should start within 2 weeks. It was Day 45, I started on Day 48.
I started charting my temperature (with a regular digital thermometer) on November 19th. I tested ovulation using an ovulation kit (that is old) on the 22nd, but it said I wasn't ovulating. I haven't checked my temperature since the 25th because the thermometer I was using is off by 2 degrees. Plus I've read it is best to use a BBT.
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