IUI, Post-Ov Ultrasound and Progesterone Bloodwork

Sorry I haven't posted an update about the IUI.  I guess I have just been trying not to think about it much and trying to focus on other things so I don't drive myself crazy.  June 10th, I went in for the IUI with DH's specimen in a cup tucked inside my clothes so that I could keep it close to my body (that's what they suggested I do).  The IUI was about 10 minutes long.  The nurse brought in the tube with the sperm and said there were lots of sperm in the specimen I brought in.  Yeah!!  She showed me the tube.  It was cloudy looking.  She said that was good and means there are lots of sperm in there.  She brought out a long thin needle thing, which is what she used to inject the sperm in me.  The procedure was fine except for when she hit my uterus.  We were talking and I stopped in mid-sentence.  She asked if I felt discomfort.  I said yes.  She said that she must have hit my uterus and needed me to tell her if I felt any discomfort  because she can't tell how far she has injected it / if she is hitting the uterus.  After the procedure, I layed on the table for about 5 minutes before I left.  I felt some pressure in my vaginal area, but other than that felt OK. 

I was pretty tired.  DD and I took a 3+ hour nap.  It was great! 

I went in the next day (June 11th) for a post ovulation u/s.  The tech said my lining was now at an 11.  Good!  She could also tell that an egg was released because there was fluid.  She said we had done everything we can up to that point.  She said 2 weeks after I had the Ovidrel, I can take a test.  She did warm me about taking it too early though, to avoid getting another BFN.  I am to call when I receive a BFP or if AF visits. 

DH and I drank a bottle of one of our favorite wines (because hopefully soon I won't be drinking any for about 9-10 months) and he toasted "to our growing family."  That was such a sweet toast!  I loved it and I love him.

June 15th I went in for b/w to check my progesterone level.  The nurse called the next day with the results.  She said my level was a little low.  They like it to be at least 20 and mine was at 13 (which was no surprise since my ob/gyn diagnosed me with LPD).  They want me to take 100mg of Prometrium 3 times per day.  She said that I should call the office by the 25th, unless I receive a BFP before that (then I need to call right away).  If I get a BFN and no visit from AF, they are going to do b/w.  I plan on testing today actually (the 24th).

Since then it has just been a waiting game and I have been trying to focus on other things and not think too much about it.

Leap of Faith

Today is CD35 and I will probably do another test.  Yes, that means I tested on the 17th (CD29 as the ob/gyn requested) and I got a BFN and have not had a visit from AF.  Last cycle, AF didn't come until CD36, though.  However, CD36 is the day we have our fertility appointment.  After I received the BFN on May 17th, I told myself I was done with taking tests for a while.  I was tired of seeing BFNs with every test.  It was such a slap in the face, such a heart break, such a let down.  I felt like my heart couldn't see another BFN.  I couldn't put myself through that again.  It's always such a loss.  A loss for something that never existed.  I have to go through the grieving process with every BFN - denial (somethings wrong with the test, it can't be negative), anger (why God? why me?), bargaining (please God, please), depression (crying in my bed for that morning or sometimes most of the day) and finally acceptance (as much as 1 can accept not being pregnant yet again).  Somedays I feel like my infertility gets the best of me, like it is going to be the death of me.  Other days I feel like I have really given the burden to Jesus and laid it at His feet.  Those are the days that I can be with friends who have 2+ kids and / or are pregnant (again).  Those are days that I can look at babies and just realize what a blessing they are.  Don't get me wrong, I always feel that babies /children are a blessing from God, but when I am having a day when my infertility is going to be the end of me, I become very angry, jealous, hurt, vulnerable, etc.  I don't want to see a pregnant woman, a mom with children (especially more than 1) or any babies for that matter.  Those are glimpses of what I can't have and it's hard to swallow. 

Why put myself through another test later on today?  Well because DH thinks I am pregnant, just like he has several times before (but of course I haven't been).  But also because I have not been obsessed with taking tests.  Typically, I take a test every other day until AF starts (starting on CD29).  Yeah, I go through a lot of tests each month.  I get them from the $1 Store and they are supposed to be good ones.  I have not wanted to do that (test every other day).  I have actually been pretty calm and not anxious about it.  I have had a headache on and off for about a week.  The last 3 days, I have not been able to get rid of the headache.  I have also been feeling very nauseous and having lots of food aversions.  I remember feeling this way when I was pregnant with DD.  Maybe it's hopeful thinking, but I think it's worth a shot.  I would hate to go to the fertility appointment on Monday and find out I am pregnant.  I don't even know if our insurance covers this appointment and haven't called to find out because well I don't want to know.  Because if it doesn't, I don't care.  We will go into debt, we will do whatever it takes to have more children, or at least I will (and I am pretty sure DH is on board with that). 

Another thing that has helped me started feeling more positive is my faith in God.  I remember when I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.  A mother with a lot of children.  Playing with my dolls was my favorite thing to do.  I really feel that early on God promised that I would be a mother to many children. I hope that means many children of our own and not in some in-direct way.  I have always felt that I was born to be a mother (not that I am perfect, by any means).  This is not to negate the fact that I am a mother to a beautliful little girl.  I love her more than life.  I love her more than anything and I am so blessed to have her.  Thank You God for allowing me to be her mother.  I don't know what I did to deserve her, but thank You!  I also feel that she was made to be a big sister.  She would make the most amazing sister to lots of brothers and sisters.  I feel that God has made her that way for a purpose. 

I took a big step.  Just the other night I sent a prayer request into my church prayer team asking for prayers in regards to our struggle with infertility.  This was a huge step for me because I have not known how to ask for this.  God gave me the strength to just do it and reach out.  To ask for prayer.  When I checked my email last night I received an email from one of the pastors at our church saying that he would be praying for us and support us in anyway he could.  Tears came to my eyes when I read the email.  I thanked God for this email and for this support.  It was as if a little of the burden (or maybe shame) had been lifted.  In fact I am crying now because it is so emotional and so private.  As much as I hate this burden, I am so happy to have another person supporting us and praying for us during this very difficult time.  The only people I have shared this burden / struggle / shame with (besides DH and praying to God) is you all and now to our church prayer team. I guess I took a leap of faith.

Not the One

Last cycle was not the cycle for us.  I test on April 12th, 14th and 17th and received a BFN every time.  AF came and CD36 became CD1.  It is getting harder and harder for me to be around my group of friends.  Almost all of them have 2 children and actually 1 just told me that she is pregnant with her 3rd.  While I am so happy for her, I just can't help but be upset that it's not me.  I feel unwelcomed or like a don't fit in with them.  Maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be friends with them.  At first I tried to put it off on them, but have actually come to the awareness / realization that it is me.  I have not shared this struggle / battle with any of them.  They are aware that I have PCOS and LPD, but not that we are and have been TTC since the end of August / beginning of September 2009.  When asked if we will have more kids (which is not very often by them), I always tell them we aren't sure or not yet.  I just hate to feel vulnerable and be pitied or felt sorry for.  I just don't feel I can open that part up to them.  I have shared other struggles with them and didn't get the support I needed / wanted / hoped for from them, so I can't share this with them. 

I started my 2nd round of Clomid on April 23rd (which was CD5) and took it until the 27th (CD9).  I started Prometrium on May 2nd (CD14).  I have also been charting my temperatures since April 24th.  This has just added to the confusion.  My temp started around 97.05 then dropped to 96.5, then rose back up to the highest being 97.6.  I have not had any other signs of ovulation - mucus or cramps, so I am thinking I have not ovulated this cycle or at least not yet.  I am not really sure how to read the chart (for my temps), even though I have read up on it.  I am currently on CD20 and have given up hope for this cycle.

We attended a friends' baby shower.  It was actually for their 2nd child.  While I am so happy for them, I can't help be a little pissed.  This friend didn't even know if they wanted kids and now she gets blessed with 2!  I know it is harsh for me to say that or even feel that way.  She is a really good friend.  Probably close to the best or most supportive friend I have, but it is still hard to swallow.  I haven't even been able to bring myself to share this struggle of TTC with her, either.  It's almost like a Jekyl / Hyde thing. I am so happy for them, yet so jealous, angry, pissed, etc that it is not me.

My friends have scheduled a few playdates / get togethers that I have just skipped because I just can't be around them.  It is so difficult.  They don't understand what I am going through.  I know I haven't told them.  I haven't shared it with them and they are not mind readers, but still I just feel like I don't belong with them and can't be around them.  I have started withdrawing from a lot of public situations because it is so upsetting to see someone pregnant or with multiple children.  I have tried to be OK with it and put my trust in God, but somedays it seems that it is thrown in my face.  I have thought of talking to someone at our church about our secondary infertility and seeking counseling for it.  But I just don't know how to start the conversation.  The other night I just lied in bed next to DH crying.  He doesn't know what to say and doesn't understand fully.  He wants another child, but says if we can't have one of our own we will adopt.  I know that I would love any child that we adopted and have always wanted to adopt, but didn't think I would be "forced to it".  I guess I struggle with, why me?  What did I do to deserve to not be able to have any more biological children?  Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to have DD.  She is such a joy.  She is what makes me go on.  She is the light of my life.  I enjoy her so much.

This struggle is obviously very personal and I have looked to the Bible for answers and have been praying to God for answers.  If His answer is no, I pray that He gives me the courage and strength to cope with that.  I do know that deep down His plan is what is best for me.  I do trust in that.

So I will humor myself and test in 9 days like my ob/gyn told me too.  The good news / light at the end of the tunnel for now is that I called the specialist and they were able to schedule us for May 24th.  I was happy and confident with this date because at that point we should know for sure whether this 2nd round of Clomid has worked.  I was hoping it wouldn't come to seeking the help of a specialist (not that I feel above it, just wanted it to come the easy way).  Of course, I was also hoping that it wouldn't come down to us having to start Clomid and we have for 2 rounds now.  I guess I just need to learn to deal with it better.

First Cycle of Clomid

On CD29, I took a pregnancy test and received a BFN.  I took another Prometrium that night before bed, since this was the game plan discussed with my ob/gyn.  The next day CD30 turned into CD1.  I was excited that AF came so soon, but sad because I was really hoping that I had just tested too early.  DH was sad too when I told him the test results.  I think we both were hoping I had just tested too soon.  We were hoping to get pregnant before having to start the Clomid. 

Friday was CD5 and my first day taking Clomid.  I was scared because I didn't know how it would effect me.  The ob/gyn warned that it brings hot flashes, mood swings and feels like you are going through menopause.  I try to take it later in the day.  I think the effects have been minimal.  I do think it does make my moods go from 0-10 in a matter of seconds.  One minute I am fine and the next I am angry.  Having PCOS, I have had mood swings, but those had gotten better since February.  I have only experienced a few hot flashes since taking the Clomid.  I also had these hot flashes before taking Clomid.  So of course, I am worried that maybe the Clomid isn't working or won't work.  Before starting the Clomid, I was telling myself that I just need to embrace whatever side effects (mood swings, hot flashes) that it brings because that is how I know it will be working.  But since it is nothing like I thought it would be, I am worried that it's not working on me.  I guess we will see.  It is a waiting game, isn't it?

U/S

I started Prometrium on Saturday the 27th (since it was CD14).  I am hoping this cycle will be it.  Another thing I forgot to mention about my appointment with the ob/gyn was we discussed whether I was ovulating.  I was thinking that I probably wasn't.  She said the pains I am having could be ovulation.  I also told her that I have had the cervical mucus (even cycles when I haven't had AF for over 40 days), she said I could very well have ovulated then too.  Apparently you don't have to have AF to ovulate. 

Thursday I had the u/s.  I told the tech that I was still having the pains on my right side, but also my left side has been hurting (even more than the right) and the center of my abdomen has been sensitive / soar.  She did 2 types of u/s.  She showed me my ovaries, cysts, follicles, etc.  She said that it's not common for women with PCOS to have pains (but I am not sure how much she really knows about PCOS because from what I have read, it is very possible).
The ob/gyn's office called with the results later that day.  The u/s confirmed / was consistent with PCOS.  There is no blockage or scar tissue.  My ovaries are functioning, but with PCOS.  Normal treatment for PCOS is to suppress the ovaries, but since we are TTC, we don't want to do that.  She said the pain is just from the PCOS.  She said the u/s showed tons of cysts (almost like an overactivity), but that is PCOS.  The pain is from the PCOS and there isn't much they / I can do about it.  She said to take Tylenol, keep hydrated and to make sure I am not constipated.  She said that Metformin is a good drug to make the ovaries function.  She wants me to keep them posted.  I asked if she could tell from the u/s if I ovulated this month this I was on CD19 and she said that she couldn't tell. U/s isn't a good tool for that. 
So, at least I have no blockages or scar tissue, but I have major pain a lot.  Thankfully the pain doesn't last a long time, but it does happen frequently.

New Game Plan

Last week I attended an appointment with my ob/gyn.  The nurse talked to me about the fact that I have several factors against me in regards to conceiving again - PCOS, hypothyroid, LPD, but that the most promising factor was that my body did it once.  I have a beautiful 3 year old little girl.  The ob/gyn reviewed how things have been going with me.  I told her about my pains, especially on my right side.  She ordered an u/s to rule out blockage and scar tissue.  We talked about TTC and what our next move should be.  Thankfully she understood that we mean business and want to get things rolling with having a baby.  We don't want to play games or twiddle our thumbs.  She laid out all the options - try Clomid (she only does 3 rounds then sends you to a fertility specialist), seek a fertility specialist, keep trying with Metformin and Prometrium.  I asked her opinion because I truly respect it.  She said she thinks we should go ahead and start Clomid, get an appointment with a fertility specialist schedule for the next few months, and of course get the u/s.  She said the Clomid will be hard on me.  It will make me feel like I am going through menopause.  I told her that I already feel that way, as I have major mood swings and was having hot flashes.  I actually asked her if she was just teasing me and I was truly going through menopause.  She reassured me that I wasn't.  She said Clomid will bring on all these symptoms, plus there is an increase in multiples.  She said that she personally has never had anyone have multiples from it, but it is a risk.  We are worried about that risk because twins run on both sides of our family.  DH also asked if something could be wrong with his swimmers and so he is going to be tested.  I thought that was such a great thing for him to ask and kind of took the "heat" off of me.  I just thought that was very supportive.  The nurse was great at reassuring us and DH about the sperm analysis.  She told us her DH had to do that, too.  I really appreciate my ob/gyn and the nurse sharing their experiences with us because it helps me to know I am not alone / we are not alone in the struggle.  If I hadn't said this before, my ob/gyn also has PCOS.  So our game plan is to take Clomid CD6-9, then Prometrium CD14-28, on CD 29 I will take a pregnancy test if AF hasn't visited, if BFN then I will continue the Prometrium until AF visits (or I get a BFP).  We will do that for a few cycles, then if no BFP, we will meet with the specialist.  Oh yeah, and DH will get his swimmers checked and I will get an u/s.    

CD61-65

On February 1 (CD61), the nurse from the ob/gyn's office called.  She said the doctor wanted me to go for b/w.  I had the b/w done that day. They called with the results the next day.  She said my FSH, Estradiol and something else were normal but my TSH was abnormal, dangerously low.  I think it was .265. She said I need to go for another b/w (free t4).  I went that day.  The next day the nurse called with the results.  She said that test was normal and they would send the results to my endocronologist.  They said my G4 is good and T4 is normal.  I told the nurse that I was at CD63.  She talked with the ob/gyn.  She prescribed 400mg of Prometrium at night for 10 days. 

The Prometrium really kicks my butt.  As soon as I take it, I am out.  It just makes me exhausted.

Friday the 5th, my endocronologist's office called about the b/w they were sent.  He wants me to stop taking Synthroid on Sundays.  So now I am really confused.  Why would I stop taking my med if one of my thyroid tests were really low?

BTW, I stopped taking the Vitex on the 2nd and had already stopped the cough decongestant and progesterone cream on the 31st.  I will talk to my ob/gyn about taking them first.

My History

On January 29th, I saw on Daily Strength, a question regarding Vitex.  The replies from the post stated that these women had great success with it.  I looked it up and thought I would give it a try.  I went to the store and bought Vitex and progesterone cream.  I started taking a cough decongestant on the 28th because I read that it can help with the cervical mucus. I also decided that I must have been delirious on the 28th when I thought I had a visit from AF.  Of course I am delirious, 59 days without a period?

When I think about my history and my diagnosis of PCOS, I always wonder if I didn't cause it.  I was on BCP for years that I only needed to have a visit from AF 4 times per year.  I wonder if that could have tricked my body into only having AF every few months. But then when I read symptoms and information on PCOS and LPD, I have had those for years. I switched from ob/gyn to ob/gyn trying to find out what was wrong with me until I met my current ob/gyn in 2003.  I always thought / knew something was wrong, but no doctor would listen to me.  I was diagnosed in 1996 with a hypothyroid.  Then depression some several years later.  I had a laproscopy and hysterscopy in 2002.  The ob/gyn punctured my uterus during these procedures.  She thought I had endometriosis, but said I didn't after these procedures.  I found my current ob/gyn in 2003 at a women's event.  She asked me to give her a chance and I did.  She didn't diagnose me with PCOS until last year, but she has always listened to me and taken my concerns seriously.  When I first started seeing her, she found a BCP that worked for me and seemed to "cure" my symptoms.  She is the doctor that recommended I go on BCP that I only need to have AF 4 times per year.  My visits from AF were horrible, so I agreed.   Things were fine.  DH and I decided we would start TTC in June 2006.  In March 2006, I stopped taking BCP and was pregnant in May 2006.  We had a healthy, beautiful little girl in 2007.  I did have GD during the pregnancy. 

58 or 2?

Call it lack of sleep or too much sleep, I am not sure.  I posted yesterday that a little while after I got off the phone with the nurse, I started my period.  I know this is weird and probably TMI, but I don't know if I really started or not.  I did not bleed the rest of the day.  Did I dream it?  Am I going crazy?  All I can say is now I am even more confused than ever and don't know which CD I am on.  Is it 58 or 2?

CD57 to CD1

Last week my symptoms just continued to get worse: nauseau, diarrhea, exhaustion, irritability, cramps and pain in my stomach, back pain and loss of appetite.  On CD50, I tested again, of course BFN, so I called the ob/gyn.  I talked to the nurse.  She asked if I have had my thyroid checked recently.  I told her I had, just about a month ago.  She suggested that I try taking 1 Metformin in the AM and 1 Metformin in the PM for 1 week and see if that helps.

I have been taking the Metformin as the nurse suggested and I have noticed some difference.  The diarrhea and cramping are not as bothersome.  However, the nauseau, exhaustion, irritability (lack of patience), back pain and pains in my stomach have continued.  I called the nurse back this morning, I am on CD57 (and received another BFN this morning). She asked if I had tested resently.  I told her that I tested this morning.  She scheduled an appointment for me to come in to talk to the ob/gyn, but it's not until the 23rd.  She said that the ob/gyn won't be back in the office until Monday and she would talk to her then and called me back.

Of course since then I have started my period.  I am thankful, as much as you can be, when you are cramping, in pain and still not feeling well. 

I have been so tired this last month or 2.  It is just so difficult to even get out of bed.  I have to force myself to just get DD breakfast.  I feel horrible that I am not able to do the things I used to do with her.  I can't even get crafts or things together for her to do while I am laying in bed.  I hate to say it, but a lot of times, all I can do is turn on PBS.  I hate that I am not able to work on the alphabet or other educational things with her.  I think the guilt from that and the exhaustion, pain and frustration from PCOS have me defeated.  All I can think about is how I am a terrible mom because I can't do more things with DD. Before I thought it might be silly to send her to preschool, but now I am starting to think it is the best thing for her.  I just feel I am not doing right by her.  I think she is bored being here with me. Hell, I am bored being here with myself.

Scare and Follow Up

At the end of September, I had a scare. I started bleeding. It kind of freaked me out because the first thing I thought of was - miscarriage. I stopped bleeding the next night. I have never had that short of a period. The next day I called the ob/gyn's office. The nurse said that it was just because my lining was so thick and it's just thinning out.

I was hoping (and thinking good thoughts) that we would be pregnant in October. I felt that at that point we were both ready. This was only the first cycle we had been TTC. I said several prayers to God that month. DD had been asking for a baby sister or brother. She said she wants one. I think she would be a good big sister. She deserves to be a big sister. I think she is ready, too.

I saw the ob/gyn on October 27th. They did a pregnancy test on me and it was negative. She started me on Prometrium until I had a period. We thought I hadn't had a period for about 50 something days, but in actuality it was 30 days. She said any bleeding is a period, no matter how long it lasts. When I called the nurse in October, she told me it wasn't a period, so I didn't count the days correctly.

By November 10th, I still hadn't started my period so I called the ob/gyn's office.I had been taking Prometrium for 14 days. The nurse said I should start within 2 weeks. It was Day 45, I started on Day 48.

I started charting my temperature (with a regular digital thermometer) on November 19th. I tested ovulation using an ovulation kit (that is old) on the 22nd, but it said I wasn't ovulating. I haven't checked my temperature since the 25th because the thermometer I was using is off by 2 degrees. Plus I've read it is best to use a BBT.

Something Must Be In The Water

I can not believe all the people I know that just had a baby or that are pregnant. It is ridiculous. Here is the list (sorry to bore you):
1. S had a boy in April
2. CB had a boy in April
3. LS had a girl in April
4. EE had a girl in June
5. N had a girl in July
6. K had a boy in July
7. AB had a boy in October
8. A had a boy in November
9. K had a girl in November
10. EB had a girl in November
11. TG & MG had a boy in November
12. CE had a girl in December
13. J had a baby in December
14. BG & NG had a girl in December
15. D is due any day now
16. W is due this month
17. A is due in April
18. TL is due in March
19. TD is due in March
20. K is due in March with twins
21. SB is due with a girl soon
22. KB is due in a few months
23. LP & MP adopted a girl in April
24. GG & B are due in January
25. LN & TN are due in April
26. JP & AP are due in February
27. SS is due in April with twins
28. R & N are due soon
29. B is due in a few months
30. T & F are due in August
31. JB & EB are due in August

That is a hell of a lot of people and I am sure that I am forgetting about a few or will learn of more pregnant people in the next day or so. It seems like everyday I am hearing that someone is pregnant.

While I am super excited for everyone, I can't help but feel very jealous. With my recent diagnoses, I just worry that it will never be me, that I will never be pregnant again. It really bothered me when I would hear news of someone being pregnant when DH wasn't ready to start trying. I feel like we have been given a time limit on having kids. I am really worried about using fertility drugs or fertility treatments. First off, the cost and secondly, the possibility of multiple births just stresses me out. I have really been keeping my stress, worry, frustration and sadness about all of this to myself.

But will we be OK family wise? I want more children more than anything. I think DD would be an amazing big sister. I feel like she would be losing out on so much if we can't give her that opportunity. She deserves to be a big sister. She deserves to have brothers and sisters that look just like her or have similar features and that love and adore her (as she will them). I want to have more than 1 pregnancy and more than 1 biological child. I would like to have at least 4 children (not all at the same time). I want to have 3 more pregnancies and all end up in live births with healthy babies being the outcome.

You might wonder why I am afraid of miscarriage. With the LPD diagnosis, the biggest risk is that if I do / can get pregnant, that I will miscarry. I do not have enough progesterone in my body to be able to maintain a pregnancy. I am glad this was found out now and not after a miscarriage. I really hope that we don't have to know the pain that comes with miscarriage. I know EE, CB, and B know that pain. It must be so difficult and I do not want to have to go through that.

DH and I talked, well I cried, one evening after leaving a friend's house. I love being around my friends, but it is really tough when they are almost all pregnant or recently given birth. That is when we decided to start TTC. It was August 29th.

We are not TTC because of all of our friends, but because he is finally ready. Before it was him holding us back. He stresses about finances too much. I think of finances too, but know that things will get better. God will provide. I am trying to find more kids to babysit. He will graduate in 2011 and get a better job (if not before). We will be OK. If we have to, we can / will sell the house. We could stop the 401K and defer my school loans. The credit cards will be paid off at the end of 2010. We will be OK financially. The other thing holding us back from TTC was issues with his family that affected our marriage.

I did have mixed emotions about getting pregnant because of the way things are with DH's family. I talked about this with E. DH and I have a strong marriage - that has been proven. We can't let them dictate or decide when we will continue or add on to our family. Problems with them could very well always exist (as long as they are around and in our lives).

LPD Diagnosis

The ob/gyn's office called on July 18, 2009 with the results of my bloodwork. Apparently my body is not doing what it's supposed to. It is not making enough progesterone, so I have to take progesterone during days 14 - 28 of my cycle. So now I have been diagnosed with Luteal Phase Defect (LPD), too.

PCOS Diagnosis

July 16, 2009, DH and I attended an ob/gyn appointment. I have been off BCP since October of 2008. My periods were fine the first 4 months I was off the pill, but then just stopped. My cycle before DD was about 30 something days, now it was 42days long (well the 4 months I had a period!). March and April I didn't have a period. I only had a period in May because the ob/gyn's office prescribed Provera. I missed a period in June and July. I was not ovulating.

The ob/gyn did a pregnancy test and it was negative. She said that I was not ovulating. Apparently my lining is too thick. The estrogen in my body is turning into testosterone, which turns into insulin. She said that every women has cysts in their ovaries. It is one of those cysts that gets fertilized or if it doesn't causes your period to start. Your body only allows the best cyst to get fertilized. Well apparently I don't have any of those "best" cysts. I have what is called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). The ob/gyn said this is why I am gaining weight in the stomach. The fat is just collecting there. She said this is why I am having pains in my stomach as well. We are going to try to treat it with Metformin, which is a Diabetes drug. She is also doing bloodwork to make sure everything else is OK. The Metformin could also cause stomach pain and diarrhea.

When the ob/gyn was telling us this, I was about to lose it, but tried to act OK. I looked over and saw DH tearing up and knew I had to be OK about it. I didn't want both of us to cry over this. After the appointment, while I was waiting for my script and bloodwork req, he lost it and had to leave the office for a minute.

He went to the lab with me. They got me in and out of there rather quickly. I picked up the script for Metformin that evening.