Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Last Clomid for this Cycle

I took my 5th Clomid pill / last Clomid pill for this cycle yesterday.  I think my mood swings were pretty bad these 5 days.  I am not sure if I can blame the Clomid or if the stress from TTC is getting to me.  I am having such a hard time dealing with not being pregnant yet.  It was so easy the first time to get pregnant.  I just can't believe that we are experiencing this.  I can't believe that any of us are experiencing this.  We want to be mothers so badly.  I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in charge.  He will do what is right for us.  He has blessed me beyond I deserve.  He has given me a beautiful 3 year old daughter to love and I do love her so much.  Every time I look at her, I think to myself, she is enough.  If she is the only child God gives me, she is enough.  I thank Him everyday for blessing me with her and thank Him for how amazing she is.

I keep thinking that this has to be the cycle.  DH and I were texting about it last week.  I texted him that if this was the cycle for us, our due date would be around December 19th.  I thought he would think I was crazy thinking this far ahead, but he actually said it was something he had been thinking about too.  We talked about the possibility of having a Christmas baby.  It was so nice to talk about it.  He is not much of a talker and I tend to keep this kind of stuff in.  I have a huge problem talking about being infertile and not being pregnant yet.  That is why I started this blog.  I have to get this stuff out and it is easier for me to type it than to say the words. Thank you all for listening / reading and supporting me.

7 comments:

  1. secondary infertility is so hard to deal with because you think to yourself "but it was SO EASY the firt time!" and you feel like you should be able to get pregnant easily!
    Its probably a combo of the clomid and the stress of ttc making you crazy...its crazy inducing for everyone!

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  2. ~ICLW
    I loved this line "I just can't believe that we are experiencing this. I can't believe that any of us are experiencing this. We want to be mothers so badly." That is pretty much exactly what I've been thinking for the last few months. I just cannot accept this. It is so hard. Thanks for writing this, it really made me feel less alone. Baby dust to you for this cycle!

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  3. I luckily haven't had any mood swings yet but I have had a horrible headache for the past 12 hours that won't go away! I hope the clomid made you some good follies! Are you going in for an ultrasound or bloodwork?

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  4. Hi! thanks so much for visiting my blog and here i am to return the favour! I'll check out on you regularly as I'm also following you. May this be the cycle my friend. Fran

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  5. Suzy thanks for your kind words. I was worried that maybe this post would be misunderstood.

    Samantha, I am not going in for any monitoring. Since I am still seeing my regular ob/gyn, she doesn't really do IF monitoring. I do need to call the Specialists and get an appointment scheduled.

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  6. I hated the mood swings and side effects of Clomid. I hope that this is your cycle too. An end of the year/Christmas baby would be a buge blessing. Best of Luck and fingers crossed for you!

    ICLW #33

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  7. Wishing you all the best with this cycle! I remember those horrid mood swings...hope it's all worth it!

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