I took my 5th Clomid pill / last Clomid pill for this cycle yesterday. I think my mood swings were pretty bad these 5 days. I am not sure if I can blame the Clomid or if the stress from TTC is getting to me. I am having such a hard time dealing with not being pregnant yet. It was so easy the first time to get pregnant. I just can't believe that we are experiencing this. I can't believe that any of us are experiencing this. We want to be mothers so badly. I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in charge. He will do what is right for us. He has blessed me beyond I deserve. He has given me a beautiful 3 year old daughter to love and I do love her so much. Every time I look at her, I think to myself, she is enough. If she is the only child God gives me, she is enough. I thank Him everyday for blessing me with her and thank Him for how amazing she is.
I keep thinking that this has to be the cycle. DH and I were texting about it last week. I texted him that if this was the cycle for us, our due date would be around December 19th. I thought he would think I was crazy thinking this far ahead, but he actually said it was something he had been thinking about too. We talked about the possibility of having a Christmas baby. It was so nice to talk about it. He is not much of a talker and I tend to keep this kind of stuff in. I have a huge problem talking about being infertile and not being pregnant yet. That is why I started this blog. I have to get this stuff out and it is easier for me to type it than to say the words. Thank you all for listening / reading and supporting me.