CD3 ARS Appointment

Wednesday the 26th I went to the ARS for an u/s, exam and b/w.  The ultrasound tech did a regular u/s and a vaginal u/s.  She showed me the follicles in my ovaries.  She said that on the screen they looked like a chocolate chip cookie. The ovaries being the cookie and the follicles being the chocolate chips.  Once she said that, it really did!.  After the u/s, I went to an exam room where the nurse had me get undressed and I  waited for her and the ARS to come in.  The ARS said he had good news: my uterus looked good and I have a lot of eggs (which could be because of the PCOS but it is probably more a sign of my fertility). Basically he said we just need to try to control my ovulation or see if we can control it. He did tell me that I have a fibroid.  He said it was very tiny and that they don't typically do anything for ones that tiny.  They will watch it to make sure it doesn't grow / get very big.  Since my period was different this month (much lighter and at that point almost non-existent), he ordered an HCG to make sure that I was not pregnant. he said if I was it would probably not take and we would have to wait for the numbers to drop.  He did an exam, taking samples in case we have to do IVF (and there might have been other reasons that I don't remember).  The nurse gave me a calendar for May and June that showed our plan outlined. Basically I took Clomid CD3-CD7 (5 nights). Then I started using an OPK on the 3rd (which was CD11) and was scheduled to come back to the office for another u/s on the 5th (CD13).  If the OPK showed a surge before my u/s, I was to call the office.  The nurse faxed a prescription for Ovidrel (an injection that I received through the mail).  I was told to bring the Ovidrel with me to my u/s on the 5th, if I had not had a surge before then.  Basically, when I have a surge, I take the Ovidrel.  The nurse said she didn't expect me to have a surge before the 5th, but I needed to test just in case.  She said to plan on coming back into the office for a postcoital test the 7th-9th.  Basically after I get the surge, I do the shot of Ovidrel, then we do the BD and come in to have my CM and the sperm checked. 

The Clomid (still the same dose) this time, seemed to make me very angry and on edge.  I barked and snapped at DH and DD several times.  Actually I don't know if it's the Clomid or the stress from being infertile and not being pregnant yet.  It's easier to blame the Clomid though.

58 or 2?

Call it lack of sleep or too much sleep, I am not sure.  I posted yesterday that a little while after I got off the phone with the nurse, I started my period.  I know this is weird and probably TMI, but I don't know if I really started or not.  I did not bleed the rest of the day.  Did I dream it?  Am I going crazy?  All I can say is now I am even more confused than ever and don't know which CD I am on.  Is it 58 or 2?

CD57 to CD1

Last week my symptoms just continued to get worse: nauseau, diarrhea, exhaustion, irritability, cramps and pain in my stomach, back pain and loss of appetite.  On CD50, I tested again, of course BFN, so I called the ob/gyn.  I talked to the nurse.  She asked if I have had my thyroid checked recently.  I told her I had, just about a month ago.  She suggested that I try taking 1 Metformin in the AM and 1 Metformin in the PM for 1 week and see if that helps.

I have been taking the Metformin as the nurse suggested and I have noticed some difference.  The diarrhea and cramping are not as bothersome.  However, the nauseau, exhaustion, irritability (lack of patience), back pain and pains in my stomach have continued.  I called the nurse back this morning, I am on CD57 (and received another BFN this morning). She asked if I had tested resently.  I told her that I tested this morning.  She scheduled an appointment for me to come in to talk to the ob/gyn, but it's not until the 23rd.  She said that the ob/gyn won't be back in the office until Monday and she would talk to her then and called me back.

Of course since then I have started my period.  I am thankful, as much as you can be, when you are cramping, in pain and still not feeling well. 

I have been so tired this last month or 2.  It is just so difficult to even get out of bed.  I have to force myself to just get DD breakfast.  I feel horrible that I am not able to do the things I used to do with her.  I can't even get crafts or things together for her to do while I am laying in bed.  I hate to say it, but a lot of times, all I can do is turn on PBS.  I hate that I am not able to work on the alphabet or other educational things with her.  I think the guilt from that and the exhaustion, pain and frustration from PCOS have me defeated.  All I can think about is how I am a terrible mom because I can't do more things with DD. Before I thought it might be silly to send her to preschool, but now I am starting to think it is the best thing for her.  I just feel I am not doing right by her.  I think she is bored being here with me. Hell, I am bored being here with myself.

CD47 and Nothing

I tested again this afternoon, which was actually my morning. I fell asleep last night, but then woke up and couldn't go back to sleep until this morning. I was extremely tired and ended up sleeping until the afternoon. Thank goodness DH was home to get DD in the shower, feed her breakfast and hang out with her. The test came back negative again. Tomorrow will be CD48, which is when I started in November. I think I'll wait until CD50, test again and call the ob/gyn (unless I start my period before then). Even if I start my period, I am still going to call the ob/gyn to tell them about my intense stomach pains and having no let up on symptoms. I am also thinking it is time to inquire about fertility drugs.

Scare and Follow Up

At the end of September, I had a scare. I started bleeding. It kind of freaked me out because the first thing I thought of was - miscarriage. I stopped bleeding the next night. I have never had that short of a period. The next day I called the ob/gyn's office. The nurse said that it was just because my lining was so thick and it's just thinning out.

I was hoping (and thinking good thoughts) that we would be pregnant in October. I felt that at that point we were both ready. This was only the first cycle we had been TTC. I said several prayers to God that month. DD had been asking for a baby sister or brother. She said she wants one. I think she would be a good big sister. She deserves to be a big sister. I think she is ready, too.

I saw the ob/gyn on October 27th. They did a pregnancy test on me and it was negative. She started me on Prometrium until I had a period. We thought I hadn't had a period for about 50 something days, but in actuality it was 30 days. She said any bleeding is a period, no matter how long it lasts. When I called the nurse in October, she told me it wasn't a period, so I didn't count the days correctly.

By November 10th, I still hadn't started my period so I called the ob/gyn's office.I had been taking Prometrium for 14 days. The nurse said I should start within 2 weeks. It was Day 45, I started on Day 48.

I started charting my temperature (with a regular digital thermometer) on November 19th. I tested ovulation using an ovulation kit (that is old) on the 22nd, but it said I wasn't ovulating. I haven't checked my temperature since the 25th because the thermometer I was using is off by 2 degrees. Plus I've read it is best to use a BBT.

PCOS Diagnosis

July 16, 2009, DH and I attended an ob/gyn appointment. I have been off BCP since October of 2008. My periods were fine the first 4 months I was off the pill, but then just stopped. My cycle before DD was about 30 something days, now it was 42days long (well the 4 months I had a period!). March and April I didn't have a period. I only had a period in May because the ob/gyn's office prescribed Provera. I missed a period in June and July. I was not ovulating.

The ob/gyn did a pregnancy test and it was negative. She said that I was not ovulating. Apparently my lining is too thick. The estrogen in my body is turning into testosterone, which turns into insulin. She said that every women has cysts in their ovaries. It is one of those cysts that gets fertilized or if it doesn't causes your period to start. Your body only allows the best cyst to get fertilized. Well apparently I don't have any of those "best" cysts. I have what is called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). The ob/gyn said this is why I am gaining weight in the stomach. The fat is just collecting there. She said this is why I am having pains in my stomach as well. We are going to try to treat it with Metformin, which is a Diabetes drug. She is also doing bloodwork to make sure everything else is OK. The Metformin could also cause stomach pain and diarrhea.

When the ob/gyn was telling us this, I was about to lose it, but tried to act OK. I looked over and saw DH tearing up and knew I had to be OK about it. I didn't want both of us to cry over this. After the appointment, while I was waiting for my script and bloodwork req, he lost it and had to leave the office for a minute.

He went to the lab with me. They got me in and out of there rather quickly. I picked up the script for Metformin that evening.